Brent, the main character in this memoir is telling us his story. The story of how he lit himself on fire. One of the opening lines is the one written above . He is instantainously letting us know that something in his life is wrong. That he doesn't have a motivation to gobto school. That's normal of a teenager but it is the tone of the phrase what sets you off. Why has he done it so many times this year?
Well, little by little we will find out.
First indicator of some kind of mental problem or deep desire to rebel: "We just like stealing." p. 11 This is his reasoning when faced with the moral question, why did you steal the supplies even if you didn't even use them?
Why? Why? Why.
Second clear prove of mental issues: (probably depression)
"I wonder why all the ways I've tried to kill myself haven't worked" p. 13
Third:
"I've got to think of a way to kill myself that I can't turn back from." p. 13
Three are more than enough!
I have had some inner controversy with this suicide topic. I don't know if it is okay to be so egocentric and kill yourself because you don't want to fight to get better, to improve things. Maybe I should see it like a right, since we can do whatever we want we our body, our life. I have thought between temper tantrums that suicide would be a good solution. But I know myself too well to know that in the moment of truth I would not be able to do it.
I don't know if it is insensitive to say that when I was reading about Brent looking at himself in the reflection of the microwave, I could only think about how ugly he looked and how that would screw up his social life. Then the other more important consequences hit me. Maybe I have a priority problem. Anyways...
"Everybody is talking, but nobody's talking to me" p. 20
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